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Dating someone in recovery from an eating disorder

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Eating disorders have such a fundamental impact upon relationships. Relationships require energy and attention. Not only are energy levels often quite low, particularly for those with restrictive disorders, but all the energy is directed on food, weight and exercise. The mental space which can be used to build connection with others is taken up by thoughts of the eating disorder. A study looking at the treatment of those with severe and enduring eating disorders reports statistics on the subject population that are revealing, and very sad. In this study the average participant was 33 years old and had been ill for over 16 years.
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How Eating Disorders Affect Relationships

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How Eating Disorders Affect Relationships | Recovery Warriors

For about two years I went through everything, from periods of not eating, to binging and on rare occasion, purging — and I thank my lucky stars I got out of that hell every single day. Food is everywhere and unavoidable. An eating disorder is not about trying to look good for a partner. Oh no.
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The Secret Life of Dating With an Eating Disorder

No one from my past relationships had made a point to ask me this question. Instead, I always had to force the information about how my eating disorder might show up in our relationship on these people. And it was more important than most people realize.
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Eating disorders by nature are secretive, isolating diseases. Contrary to the common misconceptions that are believed about eating disorders, many individuals who struggle with these psychiatric illnesses may look perfectly normal on the outside, not giving any reason for someone to possibly know of the chaos they might be struggling with. Part of the difficulty in learning how to share openly about a struggle with an eating disorder may perhaps be due in part to the stigmas and stereotypes that surround these mental illnesses. On the surface, eating disorders also appear to be strictly related to food, but in reality, there are so many more complex factors involved — not something that can necessarily be shared in a nutshell on a first date.
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